If you want to keep working in NYC, the trick is to find somewhere on a train line. Much quicker commute than driving, plus you can read or do crap on your laptop, so the commute time is pretty much rest time, unlike spending 2.5 hours each way driving in bumper to bumper traffic, knowing if there was no traffic it would only take a half hour).
The same is true -anywhere- that has good public transport (not buses, trains or subway. Busses are no better than cars, they still take forever in heavy traffic, and they are so jerky and busy you can't really relax and do anything but just hang on and bear it)
Moving out of NYC will mean you get to sell your current property for $$$ and buy a larger nicer home for only $$... or if you move somewhere really cheap, $. Trouble is, instead of making $$$ a year, you'll be making $$ or $ to go with it.
I have had friends who moved into NYC, worked there for a few years and saved almost all their money, then took the savings, moved somewhere reasonable and bought their own home free and clear.
Don't let those "tornadoes are no problem" folks fool you. Tornadoes and just heavy thunderstorms the like of which you've never seen are frequent enough occurances in those areas that your wife will never be happy. Sure, odds are one will never actually take out your house, that's similar to the odds of winning a state lottery. But she'll hear sirens several times a year, and stuff will actually hit within 50 miles of her a couple times a year. To a native, this is the equivalent of "never" but to someone who's never faced it, this is "constant". And the local news people play up every little bit of action, every single thunderstorm they are interrupting all the local radio and TV with weather bulletins, make it sound like Ragnarok every time Thor passes a little gas.
Permits for new construction are up in: Boston, NYC, San Francisco, Austin, Houston, Oklahoma City, and San Jose according to recent reports. Of that lot, only Boston meets your wife's desire for snow, other than the simpler one of just staying in NYC. If you leave out snow... and San Francisco is the only one of the rest that's not in a heavy tornado/thunderstorm area. I don't know that moving to Boston or SF is going to save you any money.
I'd look at moving out into NJ or NY somewhere within a short drive of a train, if I were in your situation. I'm not, mind you, I make swords for a living, which isn't location dependent at all; if I lived in NYC I'd be one broke swordsmith, out here in rural PA, I'm practically middle class, on the same income.
