Just got back from the gas station. Apparently the burgundy pickup next to me had a piston up their butt because I was using the window washer to clean off the bug guts from my lights. Either that or they were just green with envy over my car.
So I turn my back for a second to return the window squeegee and discover as I'm about to climb back into the car that the douchebag had left their entire wad of blue bubblegum stuck to my driver-side door. Because hicks in Oklahoma don't have manners. Given it's location and how it was stuck to the door, it was obvious that the human turd had tried to throw it through my open window onto my driver seat in the hopes I would grind it into my upholstery and jeans.
Well, tough-guy, you suck at throwing. You're lucky I didn't catch your license plate or the next time I saw you, your truck would be getting a new set of pinstripes.